I have been researching this decision for -I should say since- my son was born three years ago. I didn't really know it at the time but, everything I was doing to get over my c-section was leading me to unassisted childbirth. When I think back on who I was before I even wanted children (and yes, I was the person who was amendment about NOT WANTING CHILDREN!) I have to laugh. I would actually make comments like, "There is a reason they invented medication for childbirth!", "Those people must be crazy. Don't they know they don't have to go through that!?" Oh, yeah, it was bad.
I started by contacting EVERY midwife that would be available to me. And I do mean, every single one! Unfortunately, they all wanted things (in the name of "safety") that I didn't want. I went so far as to talk to them for hours before I would move on. I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision. I wanted something different this time around. I didn't want a birth based in "what-ifs", "wait-and-see", "we will rule it out", "we will cross that bridge when we get to it", "anything can happen" and "you just want to be safe". In short, I didn't want a medicalized "high-profile" birth. Because, let's face it, that is exactly what I would have got. No matter how "VBAC friendly" they say they are, there is always going to be a factor of, "monitoring" going on. I didn't want someone else's fear to invade my peace of mind. I still don't.
What is different from a theoretical knowledge and actual use of that knowledge is this: As much peace as I have about this decision, there are people (good meaning people!) that will just never get it. They don't understand that I am not being reckless. That I have done research and thought this through. That this is the safest option for us. That, no, I do not feel that this is for everyone. I wish there was more acceptance. No, you don't have to agree with it but, I don't want to hear your negative comments to try and change my mind. My mind is made up! We believe we are being safe. We believe we have made the right decision, for us. We believe that being in the care of a medical person (no matter who it is) would put us in more danger (because, let's face it, there is protocol that they have to follow-no matter what their personal dogma may be).
Let's face it, birth is a natural process. Adding all the machines, medicine and staff just complicate it. It adds more stress than is healthy, potentially causing more problems to develop (even if there were none to be had in the first place). No matter where you chose to give birth (and it should be a free choice mandated by no one but YOU!), you should feel safe, secure, in control, relaxed, comfortable and free to do what you would like. I just don't think you get that when you let other people into the process. In fact, I believe you slowly start to give up your part in the decision-making process. No matter how good your intentions were to begin with, you are still letting other people dictate the outcome.
I started by contacting EVERY midwife that would be available to me. And I do mean, every single one! Unfortunately, they all wanted things (in the name of "safety") that I didn't want. I went so far as to talk to them for hours before I would move on. I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision. I wanted something different this time around. I didn't want a birth based in "what-ifs", "wait-and-see", "we will rule it out", "we will cross that bridge when we get to it", "anything can happen" and "you just want to be safe". In short, I didn't want a medicalized "high-profile" birth. Because, let's face it, that is exactly what I would have got. No matter how "VBAC friendly" they say they are, there is always going to be a factor of, "monitoring" going on. I didn't want someone else's fear to invade my peace of mind. I still don't.
What is different from a theoretical knowledge and actual use of that knowledge is this: As much peace as I have about this decision, there are people (good meaning people!) that will just never get it. They don't understand that I am not being reckless. That I have done research and thought this through. That this is the safest option for us. That, no, I do not feel that this is for everyone. I wish there was more acceptance. No, you don't have to agree with it but, I don't want to hear your negative comments to try and change my mind. My mind is made up! We believe we are being safe. We believe we have made the right decision, for us. We believe that being in the care of a medical person (no matter who it is) would put us in more danger (because, let's face it, there is protocol that they have to follow-no matter what their personal dogma may be).
Let's face it, birth is a natural process. Adding all the machines, medicine and staff just complicate it. It adds more stress than is healthy, potentially causing more problems to develop (even if there were none to be had in the first place). No matter where you chose to give birth (and it should be a free choice mandated by no one but YOU!), you should feel safe, secure, in control, relaxed, comfortable and free to do what you would like. I just don't think you get that when you let other people into the process. In fact, I believe you slowly start to give up your part in the decision-making process. No matter how good your intentions were to begin with, you are still letting other people dictate the outcome.
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